Celebrate! It's "Always Live Better Than..."

Born this date: 1912 Milton Friedman OOO-Rah!

Quote o' the Day: "The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer."

~~Henry Kissinger

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Cheesecake Day

Joke O' The Day:

A man rushes his limp dog to the veterinarian. The doctor pronounces the dog dead. The agitated man demands a second opinion.

The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat. The cat sniffs the body and meows. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too."

The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.

The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body and barks. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead, too."

The man finally resigns to the diagnosis and asks how much he owes.

The vet answers, "$650."

"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaims the man.

"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis.

The additional $600 is for the cat scan and lab tests."

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FESTIVAL OF THE POLYMORPHOUSLY PERVERSE.

Born this date: 1805 Alexis de Tocqueville (OOO-Rah!)


Event o' the day: 1928 Walt Disney's "Steamboat Willie" is released (toot!)

Joke o' the day: A crowded flight is cancelled, and a frazzled agent must rebook a long line of inconvenienced travelers by herself. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushes to the front and demands to be on the next flight, first class.

The agent replies, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first."

The passenger screams, "Do you have ANY idea who I am?"

The gate agent grabs her public address microphone, "May I have your attention, please? We have a passenger here WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to gate 17."

The man grits his teeth, "Screw you."

She replies, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."

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Mooney Day

Born this 1945 Jim Davis cartoonist (Garfield)

R.I.P. 1750 Johann Sebastian Bach

Event: 1945 US Army bomber crashes into 79th floor of Empire State Bldg, 14 die ("down please")

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Audrey II from "Little Shop of Horrors"

Celebrate: "Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day"

R.I.P 1844 John Dalton

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All Or Nothing Day

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Festival of Picaresque Animality

Born this date: 1954 Walter Payton

Assumed sea temperature: 1956 Andria Doria

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Birthdate of Ambrose Bierce, Author of "Devil's Dictionary"

ABSCOND, v.i.

To "move in a mysterious way," commonly with the property of another.

R.I.P. 1980 Peter Sellers

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Feast of the Trickster of Liberty

Born this date: 1919 Pee Wee Reese (yea!)

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Today is "Spoonerism Day"

"My tangue is toungled
so mardon pee if I tak balkwards...
I mean I bak talkwards... Oh, skit ip!"

Born this date: 1844 Rev William Archibald Spooner London,

Assumed room temperature this date: 1934 John Dillinger

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Today's Celebration: Cow Appreciation Day!

Born this date: 1924 Don Knotts

R.I.P. 1967 Basil Rathbone

Event this date: John Scopes convicted of violating Tennessee's Butler Act by teaching evolution

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Today is "National Nap Day" Go for it! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Born this date: 1938 Diana Rigg (yessssssssssss)

Event: 1969 1st men on Moon, Neil Armstrong & Edwin Aldrin, Apollo 11

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Born on this date: 1860 Lizzie Borden

"Lizzie Borden took an axe,
and gave her mother forty whacks.
and when the job was nicely done,
she gave her father forty-one."

R.I.P 1969 Mary Jo Kopechne

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Super Schlock Cinema! 27-year old teenagers, beach dancing, girly-gobblin muck-monsters, this classic rocks!

Ooooooooo. Scary monsters!

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This be the "Feast of Cranks"

Born this date: 1910 Red Skelton (not a crank!)

Wit & Wisdom: Andy Levy:

"Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms:
Should be a convenience store,
not a govt agency."

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Today is the "Feast of the Clockless Nowafter"

Born this date: 1935 P.D.Q. Bach [Peter Schickele]

R.I.P. 1959 Billie Holiday

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Today is "Wrong Way Corrigan Day"
(Off to California...ooops...wait...sorta looks like Ireland!)

Born this date: 1907 Orville Redenbacher

Executed this date: 1918 Nicholas II, the Tsarina, and Five Children

Event of the day: 1980 Ronald Reagan nominated for Pres (HoooooRah!)

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Whoop it up! It be St Swithin's Day!

St Swithun's day if thou dost rain

For forty days it will remain

St Swithun's day if thou be fair

For forty days 'twill rain na mair

Made famous in Pogo
(Which in itself is reason to celebrate!)

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"Pandemonium Day" - Embrace your inner demon!

Countdown: 1 day to SAINT SWITHIN'S DAY (Hooray!)

Born this date: 1910 William Hanna

This date in history: 1789 Bastille Day (get the baskets, PARTY PARTY!)

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Gruntled Workers' Day
(never "dis" a gruntled worker!)

Born this date: 1946 Richard "Cheech" Marin ("Dave's not heeere.")

R.I.P. Lon Chaney, Jr. ("aaa-oooooooooooo")

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Born: 1937 Bill Cosby (Great American)

On This Date: 1812 U.S. Invades Canada

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Some consider Ed ("Ouudie") Wood's "Plan Nine" to be the worst film ever made, but (IMHO) it can't hold a candle to this rascal. The pic is of the imfamous "Carpet Monster"

My favorite line is one I submitted to (and was accepted by), IMDb:

"Despite Brett's inquiries about what Martin had seen in the spacecraft, he avoided specific details for fear of distrubing her more than she was. If the truth were known, Martin was more than a little disturbed himself." (Gawd, I love that line)

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Jeepers! Creepers! Serial Peepers!

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USMC Birthday (1798), Semper Fi.

Born: 1274 Robert the Bruce

R.I.P.: 1937 George Gershwin

1807 Aaron Burr whacks Alexander Hamilton near Weehawken

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"Don't Step On A Bee Day" (The sting they bring will make your toes ring!)

R.I.P.: 1941 Ferdinand "Jelly Roll" Morton

Event of the day: 1985 Coca-Cola Co announces it will resume selling old formula Coke (big DUH!)

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(if it ain't one thing, it's an udder!)

Festival of "Grand Unified Theories" (Stick it all in a paper bag and see if it blows up.)

Born this date: 1879 Ottorino Respighi (woo-hoo!)

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Today's Event has an interesting date/time sequence: 4:05:06 (pm) on 07/08/09! (woo-hoo!)


R.I.P.: Phil Foster

Andy Levy has great take on why Gov. Palin resigned: She wants to get started with her new chosen career as "community organizer" (hee-hee)

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Event of the Day: Pamplona, Spain, "Running of the idiots"
You go, Bools!

Natal Day: 1860 Gustav Mahler (OOOOOOO-Rah!)

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BREITBART: New York Times Barbie strikes again - Washington Times

BREITBART: New York Times Barbie strikes again - Washington Times

Shared via AddThis

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Born: 1747 John Paul Jones naval hero ("I have not yet begun to fight")
(Marine standing nearby: "Some people NEVER get the word!")

R. I. P. : 1971 Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong (great musician, great American)

In History: 1958 Alaska becomes the 49th state (Anybody want a recount?)

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"After the Fourth, Have a Fifth Day"

Born this date: 1810 Phineas Taylor Barnum

R.I.P.: 1983 Harry James

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Yummy!

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Happy Natal Day, Uncle Sam (Yippee!)

Also, "Invisible Day" (where, where!?)

Born this date: 1872 Calvin Coolidge (OOOO-Rah!)

R.I.P. 1826 John Adams, 1826 Thomas Jefferson, 1831 James Monroe (weird?)

Event: 1959 America's new 49-star flag honoring Alaska statehood unfurled

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Holiday: Eat Beans Day (Toot!)

Born this date: 1930 Pete Fountain

R.I.P. 1986 Rudy Vallee

This day in History: 1898 US Navy defeats Spanish fleet in Santiago harbor, Cuba (OOO-Rah!)

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Today we celebrate ... um ... er ... oh yeah! ... "I Forgot Day"

Born this date: 1894 Walter Brennan

Died on this date: 1566 Nostradamus
(didn't see THAT coming!)

Event: Premier of "Plan Nine From Outer Space"
("Because all you of Earth are Idiots!!!")

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