Celebrate! It's "Always Live Better Than..."

Born this date: 1912 Milton Friedman OOO-Rah!

Quote o' the Day: "The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer."

~~Henry Kissinger

---

Cheesecake Day

Joke O' The Day:

A man rushes his limp dog to the veterinarian. The doctor pronounces the dog dead. The agitated man demands a second opinion.

The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat. The cat sniffs the body and meows. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too."

The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.

The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body and barks. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead, too."

The man finally resigns to the diagnosis and asks how much he owes.

The vet answers, "$650."

"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaims the man.

"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis.

The additional $600 is for the cat scan and lab tests."

---

FESTIVAL OF THE POLYMORPHOUSLY PERVERSE.

Born this date: 1805 Alexis de Tocqueville (OOO-Rah!)


Event o' the day: 1928 Walt Disney's "Steamboat Willie" is released (toot!)

Joke o' the day: A crowded flight is cancelled, and a frazzled agent must rebook a long line of inconvenienced travelers by herself. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushes to the front and demands to be on the next flight, first class.

The agent replies, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first."

The passenger screams, "Do you have ANY idea who I am?"

The gate agent grabs her public address microphone, "May I have your attention, please? We have a passenger here WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to gate 17."

The man grits his teeth, "Screw you."

She replies, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."

---

Mooney Day

Born this 1945 Jim Davis cartoonist (Garfield)

R.I.P. 1750 Johann Sebastian Bach

Event: 1945 US Army bomber crashes into 79th floor of Empire State Bldg, 14 die ("down please")

---

Audrey II from "Little Shop of Horrors"

Celebrate: "Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day"

R.I.P 1844 John Dalton

---

All Or Nothing Day

---

Festival of Picaresque Animality

Born this date: 1954 Walter Payton

Assumed sea temperature: 1956 Andria Doria

---